Sir Graham Henry's new Rugby Party set to kick the opposition into touch

Hot on the heels of Kim Dotcom's Internet Party comes the announcement today by Father of the Nation Sir Graham Henry that his new Rugby Party will also be contesting this year's election.

"I've founded the Rugby Party because this country needs world-champion politicians as much as it needs world-champion rugby players," Henry told a senior assembly at Auckland Grammar School this morning.

"Quite frankly, the current government is under-performing in almost every aspect of the game. They haven't just dropped the ball -- they've sold nearly half of it to foreign investors, and you can't play the game with half a ball."

New Zealand Gerald has obtained a copy of a leaked strategy document reportedly written by former All Blacks Graham Thorne and Richard Loe in which the following are listed as the Rugby Party's key policies:

• The replacement of the Cabinet with an "Executive First 15" who will be supported by a rotating "Bench" of junior ministers.
• A ban on all French imports. "French wine and cheese are particularly debilitating for New Zealand's prospective All Blacks."
• A ban on spherical balls in school playgrounds.
• The marking of a 22-metre line on fields used in ALL sporting codes in New Zealand.
• The replacement of Religious Education with Rugby Education in all primary schools in order to dispel any confusion between rucks and mauls and penalties and conversions in the minds of future All Blacks.

  Asked what he thought the Rugby Party's chances were in this year's election, Henry smiled and quipped, "Kiwis care more about rugby than they do about life itself. I stake my leadership on becoming New Zealand's next prime minister. We only have to win by one seat."